I dread nights. Once the sun is down and away from sight, and darkness envelops the earth, I tremble. Sometimes, it brings with it vivid flashbacks of the rape. So, I avoided being outside after dusk and ceased being able to sleep without bright light on.
Eight years had not been enough to heal me to that extent, so when Juliet had informed me that the party she so really wanted me to attend was to be a night party, the tremor was involuntary and spontaneous. There was no way I could attend the party and I informed her immediately.
“But why?” Juliet had whined.
“I don’t go out at night,” I said with finality. There was nothing that could be said about the issue.
“Tell me why you don’t,”Juliet replied, displeasure ringing in her tone.
I sighed. “I just don’t. It’s a thing.”
“Gift, this is important to me and so are you. I need you there with me. You are my only real friend. The one I am sure of her honesty and good heart. You are like a pre-wedding gift to me.” It was obvious she wasn’t backing down easily.
“Juliet, I really appreciate the love you have for me and I would have loved to attend but I just don’t go out at night,” I said, trying to make her understand without revealing anything.
“OK. Let’s do this,” she quickly said. “You can come over way earlier, when it’s still day and bright. Then just stay with me till the next day, so you don’t have to move at night. “
“Juliet -” I protested.
“Gift,” she said cutting me off. “Please. Just do this one thing for me. I haven’t seen you in days. I think you are avoiding me.”
“I’m not avoiding -“
“Then prove it by being at the party. It’s going to be indoors. Whatever is your reason for avoiding the dark would be eliminated. Please.”
There was a lot I was hiding from her and I really felt pity for her. I knew important details about her past with friends and maybe that was what influenced my decision to accept her request. I really shouldn’t have.
To be continued…Tags: bloggers, longtermgoals, loveandhate, wordpress, Wordpressbloggers