Signs You Are In A Controlling Relationship.


This write up is not to make anyone feel bad about themselves or to make them want to end their relationships. It’s just to create awareness for those who are ignorant of how they affect their relationship negatively.

Understanding is very important when it comes to relationships and if I am controlling and I don’t have an understanding partner with me then things would definitely go wrong. I would always like for my partner to communicate with me on ways that I am being controlling. Because I might not be aware that I am.

Firstly, what does it mean to be controlling in a relationship?

Many of us see a controlling partner as one who openly berates everyone in their life. We even picture them as bullies, who belittles everyone he or she encounters. A controlling person use a lot of techniques in order to dominate their partners- whether they or their partners realize what is happening or not.

Secondly, we should look out for these signs which would help your relationship and your controlling partner.

  1. Controlling partners uses criticism to let you know why they don’t like or appreciate, with the aim of getting you to change your actions or stop completely. If you feel that you are constantly being criticized then talk to your partners, tell them how their words affects you and ask them to be mindful in the future.
  2. Controlling partners would want to isolate you from friends and family. Being critical of those close to you and complaining about them. Wanting you to cut off all communication with them.
  3. Threatening to act a certain way, breaking up with you or even worse are another way that controlling partners make you do what they want. But have in mind that they won’t go through with the threats.
  4. A partner who wants to control you feels as though they have the right to know everything. They might as well snoop through your messages or social media accounts. It can also be called trust issues.
  5. A controlling partner is excessively jealous or paranoid. Taking all freedom away from you.
  6. A controlling partner is quick to assume guilty of a mistake rather than innocence. Some won’t believe you are innocent no matter how much you prove it.

NOTE: Controlling relationships are not always deliberate, and communication and honesty can help break the cycle of control. Seek for help to save your relationship. But if it’s too toxic to save, it think it ‘you’ rather than ‘we’ and do what is best.

By Paula Nanya.

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