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Why Do We Get Married.

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What is marriage? what is the difference between wedding and marriage?. Well I will tell you, marriage is an intimate union and equal partnership of a man and woman, it is also a natural institution and a scared union. On the other hand, wedding is a marriage ceremony, ritual officially celebrating the beginning of a marriage. Unfortunately, people forget the difference and try so hard to make others happy on their day and go home becoming cats and dogs, after the fantastic ceremony and display of money.

A young man sees a lady, they both fall in love and can not do without each other, therefore decided to get married, they planned an elaborate wedding so it would be the talk of the town and then go on a very expensive honeymoon. A year into the marriage, some don’t even stay up to a year and they become enemies, fight over everything, threaten to divorce, and regret ever knowing each other or even having a child together. They make a little misunderstanding seem like a big issue and painting it as the end of the world, forgetting how perfect and beautiful they presented themselves to be on their wedding day. We put too much value to the ceremony, forgetting that marriage is real and not a film show. What we need to understand is 90% of the people who come for weddings are actually watching and waiting to see you fail or succeed, but I believe that marriages fail because they are not ready for it, they picked a wrong partner or had a wrong understanding of what marriage is all about.

Youths should be well informed on how to pick a partner, because our choices would either cure or bless our future. We should look out for people we are compatible with and not just anyone that comes our way, well it could work for some people but come on how would we just compare ourselves with others and believe that what works for Mr A works for Mr B. Marriage without understanding, trust, communication, tolerance, love, compromise and God can not work. Why get married when eventually we would want to end things and part ways, making things difficult for the children when it comes to who to go with. In addition, divorce could ruin the future of your children and change their perspective on marriage.

We should not get married because our mates are getting married, marriage needs maturity of the mind and not about your age, funny thing is people get married for the title; for instance, someone was telling me that females are not recognised till you are “Mrs somebody”, like it carries a lot of  respect but then the thing is people who are married and with the title, most of them are very miserable and frustrated in their marriages. 

Marriage is not a bed of roses, but we know we can always make it how we want it to be, just try to see each other as partners and not competitors, communication is the key and a family that prays together stays together. I look up to my parents who have been married for almost 30 or more, they don’t have two heads so we can also be like them, they have issues but it doesn’t even last up to a day and they are still together. Communicate with your partner when you feel things are changing and it would made a huge difference. 

©️ Paula Nanya

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