Today we are gonna be talking about something that has been bothering me. The world we live in is filled up with talks on domestic violence, broken homes and broken relationships. It doesn’t tell us the we are the architects of our problems. We fail to pick up the signs. We focus too much on the love like love should be a prison. Therefore, it is importanter to address the issues of behaviors in an unhealthy and healthy relationships.
What is an unhealthy relationship? An unhealthy relationship is a relationship where two or more people involved exhibit behaviors that are not healthy and are not founded in mutual respect for one another. Unhealthy relationships is not necessarily abusive but it can be. However, it is important to take note of the signs because such relationships have the potential to escalate into a domestic violence.
What is a healthy relationship? A healthy relationship is when two people develop a connection based on: Mutual respect, Trust, Honesty, Support, Motivation and Communication. A healthy relationship can not be abusive. It always tries to bring out the best in each other.
Here are some signs you need to look out for in an unhealthy relationship:
Dishonesty: Repeated dishonesty is not a good foundation for any relationship. A healthy relationship should be built on honesty.
Dependence: Always have it at the back of your mind that when in a relationship, each person is an individual. Every person needs to have a certain level of independence. Continuous dependence on the other for everything could indicate an unhealthy relationship. Whether, financially, emotionally or psychologically.
Isolation: It’s good to spend some time with each other without the interference of others- but it is also good to spend time with others and to also have a life outside your partner. When you isolate your partner from the world by cutting off their ties to support networks, it increases your power and control in the relationship- that is unhealthy. Your partner should be allowed to socialize and confide in others.
Constant fighting: Constantly fighting with your partner is not a good sign, you shouldn’t have to feel combative when you’re with your partner.
Jealousy: it’s okay to show that you are jealous but it becomes unhealthy when it’s constant or excessive- it becomes a possessive relationship. Also, trying to make your partner jealous on purpose is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
When should you end an unhealthy relationship?
When you start acting like someone you are not.
When you have to practically walk on egg shells. You become too conscious of what you say or do.
When you don’t have trust in the relationship- you doubt everything and even doubt yourself.
When you are constantly unhappy.
When you only hear from your partner during good times.
When you aren’t being heard. Your opinions do not count.
When you can’t recognize yourself anymore. You are no longer your best self.
I know it’s difficult to end things with someone you have given one or more years of your life to. I know we don’t want to be lonely. I know we believe change is near. But your happiness and well being matters too. It’s importanter. It can’t be over emphasized- because if we stop existing today he or she would get someone else. Protect yourself and you would definitely find your love.