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Define your relationship!

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I was  in a serious conversation with a friend yesterday, about relationship and how sometimes the end up with a good result or bad result. We went deeper into talking about ‘Dating and Courtship’. I was full of confusion because I thought I knew what they both mean but I didn’t. We were trying to define the both and I began to think that maybe I was doing things the wrong way all this while. Do we know what stage or level we are in our relationship or we are just going with the flow or the beat of the music. Let’s see the difference between Dating and Courting.

Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability with no specific expectations for their relationship. While Courting is a period of development towards an intimate relationship wherein people get to know each other as a couple and decide if there will be an engagement or other romantic arrangements. The importance of knowing what stage you are in your relationship is so you don’t stay long in a fruitless relationship because you are hoping for he or she to finally let you know he is ready to get married.

Most importantly, knowing what you want draws you closer to people who are ready to level up with you and your expectations. Furthermore, I feel we are one of the reasons our partners are not willing to show commitment and then they get attracted to someone else. Why? Simple, we are too relaxed with where we are that we don’t notice that things are changing and not in our favor.

I told myself that I wouldn’t be in a relationship for 2 years without a serious commitment. That is, by at least a year I and my partner are getting serious and committed. Knowing where you stand in your relationship is important. Knowing each other well enough is of great essence.

Someone was telling me of how she and her partner dated for 4 years and courted for 3 years but he has still not decided on whether they are right for each other. She has rejected several marriage proposals just because she loves the guy and wants to spend the rest of her life with him. Making decision is one of of the most complex thing. We shouldn’t waste the other person’s time if we are having doubts and can’t make a decision.

In addition, leveling up to courting or courtship in your relationship requires trust, honest, commitment, love, transparency, appreciation, understanding and prayers. All these are things that would hope you know if your partner is the right person for you.

In conclusion, we should make things easier and be open in every relationship we are in. Don’t try to bring curses upon ourselves because of the decisions we make. At what point would you know that this person is right for you and you are ready for marriage? Do I need to be with a guy or a girl for 10 years before knowing he or she is the one? Make the decisions!

Thank you.

Paula Nanya.

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